Prompt 25b - Jedi

[saraisa]

Title: The Inner Workings
Prompt: Jedi
Author: softmoonlight (on ao3); saraisa here
Rating: G
Characters: Vernestra Rwoh
Pairing: None
Star Wars Media Property: The Acolyte
Word count: 300
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Summary: Vernestra was quite used to the assumptions other people made.
Author Notes: Got in my ace feelings for this one. Also sorry for today's spam
Beta: Just me

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Vernestra was quite used to the assumptions other people made—both about her as a person and the Jedi as a whole. They believed her cold and loveless; they imagined the Jedi to be unfeeling, repressed monks who sat on high and did not live in reality, but who had access to power they deeply feared.

As a young girl, she might have blustered an explanation. But she was old now, and older than most of the people she’d known had ever been. Even if the words still stung, it was far easier to let it roll off her back and smile insincerely.

Because how to explain the way she experienced the world to someone who couldn’t feel it? How to tell them she sensed the life in everything, felt the air shimmer with light and feeling, bonded with her kyber crystal so that its soul beat in time with her own heart? To them, it was foreign that silence could be so loud and heartfelt, and it was perceived as a lack of emotion. Though sometimes she didn’t understand why: one did not have to be Force-sensitive to know that everyone possessed their own vibrant inner world.

This was why, in the end, even after all this time, the Jedi meant everything to her. Her fellows in the temple understood life this way, and she didn’t have to justify herself to them. Not all of them were like her in the other sense—when their romantic attachments eclipsed their feelings for the Order, they often became a test of what they valued more—but some were, and she could never give up this home, this life, with them.

Despite what the senator thought, she felt, deeply. Someone who didn’t feel would not mourn who they had lost to time.

Comments

[peppermint_shamrock]

You never need to apologize for posting a bunch of fics!

I never watched the Acolyte or read the High Republic books, so I don't know much about Vernestra, but Jedi being misunderstood by other people in the galaxy but staying true to themselves anyway is something I always love to see.

[saraisa]

Thanks again! I'm not too caught up on High Republic but her character is vastly different in the books compared to the show where she is the stereotypical "cold" Jedi even among a group of negatively-portrayed Jedi (I mentioned this in my A/N on the fic, but even though the characters had promise, the show itself is bogged down by tripping over itself trying to "both sides" the Force and so has to bash the Jedi. There's room for nuance in the portrayal even with all that, but fandom of course took the most uncharitable outlook, and honestly that seems to be in line with what the showrunner intended). Anyway, she's also Mirialan and considering they showed Barriss aging normally or even quickly, it's sort of confusing why she's over 100 years old and looks middle-aged. But I took what they gave us and took what I love about the Jedi and tried to make it work, I suppose.